This is what I really LOVE about being an actor. Preparing. Every. Last. Detail. Choosing how my character talks, walks, cries, laughs. Deciding when she wants to make a point. And choosing what object she might pick up (a prop—perchance a knife!) for emphasis!
With the help of a good director, I know when to make a dramatic cross from stage left to stage right. I see a huddle of actors onstage and “ know” because I am directed, at exactly which moment I should enter their scene and cause a hubbub!
Life well managed. That’s what a play is. Whether its’ comedy or tragedy. We, the actors know what’s going to happen next. We have prepared, and we enter the “present moment” with vim and vigor. There does remain some nuance, and slight changes, but all in all, the show must go on to the very end, the way it has been planned!
So unlike real life. No?
Honestly, I thought life was kind of like a play when I was young. It was a play in which I knew my role. A lot was predictable.
I think the first inkling that life is not a play and that each moment cannot be planned and that literally anything can happen at anytime, that inkling came on the day I was driving myself to my MFA graduate program in Acting at Ohio State and unwittingly became the first “actor” to appear on the scene of a fiery truck accident.
From the moment I watched the truck turn over onto it’s side until I heard the screams of the occupant being engulfed by the flames, I became a dazed bystander. I remember something about a rope and trying, along with someone from the truck who escaped, to throw it into the cab where a man was burning to death— like pouring water on someone who is already dying of thirst.
That Spring in Columbus Ohio, while taking acting classes and living in a run down apartment building on the third floor, I had my first panic attack. It was from the growing sense, not really unreasonable, that anything could happen at any time, that might hurt me or my loved ones. How can I prepare for that? How can my acting training save me?
And now, some 50 years later, I believe we are living in very heightened dramatic times where literally anything could happen at any time, that might hurt me or my loved ones. I have a feeling that the next two and a half months, prior to THE ELECTION, will be me getting ready for something, like using Stanislavsky’s book, An Actor Prepares. However, this will be unscripted. And, I think the playwrights aka the deep state, are throwing mud on the wall to see what will stick. So the scenes could become quite dirty and harrowing. Anything to defeat MAHA MAGA MAMMA MIA!
How does one prepare for such chaos? Instead of bringing out my text by Stanislavsky, the Russian acting teacher whose theories of “what if” and “the method” revolutionized acting—I am bringing out sacred texts. The Bible, The Tao, Buddhist writings, poems by David Whyte, and Mary Oliver, and my most recent guru, Ilchi Lee.
“Develop your character through ceaseless choosing”— Illchi Lee
So, I’m hanging up my Thespian mask and focusing my study, energy and love toward a new artform: Living Consciously. You might think, well, living is not an art, like acting. There is no scene to prepare for. How can this be art? Fair question.
First, the “Why.” You see, I wish to be happy and content. I desire to enjoy what years I have left on earth. Having lost my husband last Nov., and spending so much time in grief, I am ready to experience life differently. From a new perspective. With consciousness about death, about evil, about the very real danger lurking behind every bush, especially at Trump events! And so, INTENTION is key to this artform.
And, I want to be happy and content at the very same time that the truck is burning…in other words, I want to face and accept reality. It’s bad. We could all die. We all will die.
Curtains!
They say, “The play’s the thing.” But, I say, the preparing’s the thing. So in this artform, preparing is the exquisite practice of doing what is necessary EACH and EVERY DAY to be a spiritual being, stretching her soul in a human body, and doing as much dancing, singing, painting, farming, hiking, and cold plunging as is humanly possible with people I love and growing that circle exponentially.
To do this, I pay attention to the 7 essentials of Well Being. They are a set of dynamic prerogatives which when implemented prepare one to live consciously, no matter what is happening in the external world, and to do so in such a life affirming manner that one cannot be knocked off her block. (much needed at this time in history)
I call it the Aquarian Code.
You remember the tune: “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. “In fact, we’re there! And, every baby boomer worth her salt knows that what we started in the 70’s needs some kind of completion.
We complete our ascension to the 5th Dimension (remember that group?) by leaving behind the 3D matrix. For those not yet enlightened by the news of ascension on the planet, I refer you to my favorite teacher in this realm, Tim Wild.
Hence the name *Aquarian Code: (Don’t be fooled by simplicity) : Food, Movement, Creativity, Nature, Emotions, Sleep, and Spiritual Practice. These along with the gifts of the spirit: joy, peace, love, patience, self-control, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and kindness— give you a lot to go on. Body, Mind and Spirit wise. *Book to be published next year about this time.
So, my plan at age 72, is to finish what I started, way back when. I always like to invite my readers to join me. Let’s finish what we started.
Let’s Live Consciously, beautifully, artfully, creatively, and messily.
Messy as all get out!
As a postscript: My last post, Make the World Go Away, prompted me to take action. I had to listen to my own rantings. I WANT SILENCE!!!!
And so, I am moving to a Catholic Retreat Center in the Mountains of PA for the month of October. There I will, besides bask in the golden glow of Autumn—shut the Hell up!
I am making plans this Friday with Sr. Ruthann for what I might do to help at the center—cooking, cleaning, yardwork and assisting with retreats, in order to earn my keep. And, of course serve, for the purpose of, well, serving.
Sister has also promised to help me design my month long retreat, with a special focus on stillness, quiet, and…waiting.
I will be posting from the retreat center once a week. Because, as I have shared before, substack is my holy writing. I write what is moving inside of me…and I want to listen to what I write like bringing up a bucket from a deep well hoping for a message inside.
The message could include my new life script. Who knows?
WOW! Ms. Elle is alive and well moving on with a purpose and plan. Godspeed Ms. Elle and will be anxious to hear from you at the retreat. 💪🙏